Interesting Incidents from the Life of Swami Vivekananda – Part 2

Swami Vivekananda used to see two contradictory ideals as soon as he went to bed at night; given below is the complete description in Swamiji’s words:

As soon as I went to bed, two ideals appeared before me every night ever since I had reached my youth. One vision presented me as a person of endless wealth and prosperity, innumerable servants and dependants, high rank and dignity, great pomp and power. I thought that I was seated at the head of those who were called big men in the world. I felt I certainly had the power to achieve this end. Again, the next moment, I felt as if I had given up everything of the world and was leading a life of renunciation, putting on a loincloth, eating whatever was available without effort, spending nights under trees, and depending solely on God’s will. I felt I could live the life of the Rishis and the Munis if I wanted. These two opposite pictures, according to which I could mould my life, thus arose in my mind. But the latter would grip the mind in the end. I thought that it was in this way alone that man could attain real bliss, and that I should follow this path and not the other. Brooding on the happiness of such a life, my mind would then merge in the contemplation of God and I would fall asleep. It is a matter of astonishment that this happened every night, for a long time.